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C - How to develop effective communication skills within a child
Happiness and the quality of our lives are determined by how effectively we communicate with ourselves and with others. Generally, good communication skills are a learned ability
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'They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.
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Carl W. Buechner.
Areas to consider:
1. Message
2. Delivery
3. Non-verbal cues given
4. Listening skills
Communication skills vary enormously between people. Research has suggested this to be primarily a result of two factors: 1) male vs. female differences; 2) innate personality traits (genetics) vs. environment.
Traditionally, males communicate in ways very different from those of females:
Males
• Generally need more assistance in communicating.
• Can develop the necessary skills but need practice, especially in picking up non-verbal cues.
• Can compartmentalize very easily.
• Generally, as boys mature (physically and mentally), their self confidence and communication
• skills increase. Changes to their body can decrease self esteem. Rate of change varies
• enormously from person to person.
Females
* Tend to have a natural ability to communicate. This is because they generally instigate
• conversation.
* Have better verbal skills:
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• Sometimes this innate gift can be abused through manipulation and bullying.
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It is important to mention that siblings of the same sex can display very different personalities and as such, a different set of communication skills. Even though generally faced with similar experiences, siblings may have different perceptions of a shared event and/or develop very different coping skills.
Environmental factors also can play a huge role in the development of communication skills. Verbal and non-verbal skills can be taught and practiced. The degree of success ultimately is affected by the person’s willingness to adapt, to improve, the interest they have in conversing with others, and the priority that the person places upon communication.
How parents and guardians can help a child to develop effective communication skills:
a) Spend time with the child. This allows for the creation of a shared history about which to
• communicate.
b) Talk to and listen to the child in a sincere manner from a very early age.
c) Encourage verbal skills, i.e. answers are improved through use of accurate descriptive words.
d) Always reiterate the child’s message; this helps to verify your own understanding.
e) Debrief the child with regards to his or her perceptions i.e. this action meant this feeling or
• outcome, etc.
f) Teach children how to read non-verbal cues.
g) Provide nurturing and positive feedback.
• Tools:
•• - Role play
•• - Films and books
•• - Working knowledge
•• - Patience and perseverance plus a healthy dose of humour.
A is for Attitude – Developing a positive attitude within a child.
Attitude affects everything in life from getting out of bed to climbing back in.
“10% is WHAT happens to you. 90% is HOW you deal with WHAT happens to you.”
Author unknown
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B is for Bravery – Developing a brave and resilient child.
Bravery is the ‘white knight in shining armour’ that fights our fears. It is a reflection of confidence. “We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world.”
Helen Keller |
C is for Communication – Developing effective communication skills within a child.
Happiness and the quality of our lives are determined by how effectively we communicate with ourselves and with others. Generally, good communication skills are a learned ability.
“They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.”
Carl W. Buechner |
D is for Determination – Developing perseverance and determination within a child |
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