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B - How to develop a brave and resilient child
Bravery is the �white knight in shining armour� that fights our fears
It is a reflection of confidence
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'We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world.
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Helen Keller.
Fears in a child can develop for a number of reasons. It is, however, important to identify and isolate the fear before the child can be helped.
Some types of fears:
1. Fear of not living up to the expectations of others.
2. Fear of social situations e.g. not being considered ‘normal’
.... or accepted by one’s peers.
3. Fear of failure – performance anxiety.
Bravery is molded in 3 ways:
› Home – a safe environment enables a child to have the
• courage to express opinions without fear of ridicule.
› Family – develops the child’s style of thinking and acting e.g. an independent learner vs. a
• dependent learner:
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• Can instill a set of ‘healthy’ values and can encourage a child to ask questions
• and understand the rules that exist within society.
• Can discuss the possible repercussions of having a different opinion to the ‘norm’ and
• the consequences of going against the rules.
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› Society - tends to dictate what is ‘normal’:
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• Ultimately a child will sift through the family values and adopt some of those traits plus
• absorb any other values of importance to them that they may experience outside the
• family source.
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How parents and guardians can help a child to develop bravery:
a. Provide a safe environment (emotionally, physically and mentally), free from ridicule:
.... i. Actively ensure that kindness, encouragement, trust and love are predominantly found within
.... the household.
.... ii. Consistency is necessary and important e.g. family sit-down dinners.
.... iii. Opinions and thoughts are encouraged without fear of ridicule:
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• Good decisions vs. poor decisions.
• Actions = Consequences (Newton’s Law).
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b. Be involved in the child’s life:
.... i. Spend time with them and get to know them.
c. Help a child build a strong sense of self:
.... i. Children need to learn what their strengths and weaknesses are and then set a course to
.... develop those strengths and improve upon their weaknesses.
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• Successful attainment of short-term goals (must be manageable) lead to the mastering
• of long-term goals and confidence.
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.... ii. Children want to feel knowledgeable about a topic:
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• Provide situations that allow the child to feel successful. This leads to decreased fear and
• increased confidence.
• Involvement in group activities allows children to form relationships with others who have
• the same interest. This is an important transferable skill for life.
• Provide situations that allow the child to feel successful. This leads to decreased fear and
• increased confidence.
• Involvement in group activities allows children to form relationships with others who have
• the same interest. This is an important transferable skill for life.
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d. Make mistakes - We all (children and adults alike) make mistakes:
.... i. Constructive criticism is better received than negative criticism.
.... ii. Trial and error can lead to fantastic learning experiences. However, it is of greater
.... importance to discuss the available choices for the child, and the respective outcomes.
.... iii. It is helpful to support a child’s decision, although sometimes difficult, and then later
.... encourage discussion and reflection of that choice. Ultimately it is desirable that the child learns
.... to identify alternative solutions that in hindsight may have been a better decision for them.
.... iv. Children need to be reminded that life is not all black and white; it is made up predominantly
.... of shades of gray.
A is for Attitude – Developing a positive attitude within a child.
Attitude affects everything in life from getting out of bed to climbing back in.
“10% is WHAT happens to you. 90% is HOW you deal with WHAT happens to you.”
Author unknown
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B is for Bravery – Developing a brave and resilient child.
Bravery is the ‘white knight in shining armour’ that fights our fears. It is a reflection of confidence. “We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world.”
Helen Keller |
C is for Communication – Developing effective communication skills within a child.
Happiness and the quality of our lives are determined by how effectively we communicate with ourselves and with others. Generally, good communication skills are a learned ability.
“They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.”
Carl W. Buechner |
D is for Determination – Developing perseverance and determination within a child |
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